Lousy Food Banished

First, a solid moment of disbelief—because surely, there’s a catch. Then, depending on the news, either a quiet fist pump or full-blown celebration.

If I somehow won a free trip overseas, I’d be checking the fine print before letting myself get excited (because, let’s be real, my bank account would still find a way to make it complicated). If it’s something like finally getting a tax return that doesn’t feel like a scam, I’d immediately start planning how to waste—uh, I mean, wisely invest—the money. And if my peach tree suddenly decided to outdo itself with the best fruit ever? That calls for an impromptu baking session, because some victories deserve to be eaten.