Lousy Food Banished

Oh boy, where do I start? First, the land—5 hectares at least. Enough space for sheep, cows, chickens, and whatever other critters I decide to add to the mix. The kind of place where the only neighbors are the ones grazing in the paddocks.

As for the house, I love the look of a bungalow, but it doesn’t quite fit the vibe I’m after. Instead, I see a limestone or stone-and-mortar cottage with a wraparound bullnose veranda, vines creeping up the poles and gutters. A proper front porch with a chair so I can sit outside in the morning, coffee in hand, soaking in the crisp country air.

Step inside, and you’d be greeted by long rustic hallways with wainscoting, a built-in coat and bag rack with a cushioned bench, high ceilings with detailed cornices, and maybe some exposed beams for character. Wooden floors with rolled Persian carpets, large rooms, and fireplaces in each one because cozy is non-negotiable.

The kitchen? Oh, that’s the heart of it all. Exposed stone splashback, covered in glass for easy cleaning. Stone or wooden benchtops. Induction built into the counter. A large double oven at chest height (because bending over to check cookies is a rookie mistake). The microwave, steamer, and dishwasher? Built-in and maybe hidden in the butler’s pantry alongside a French-door fridge. The color scheme? A soft olive or dusty blue with shaker-style cabinets and one of those wooden dish-drying racks mounted above a farmhouse sink.

Off the kitchen, a dining area with exposed stone walls, greenery, and artwork. Then, two separate spaces to unwind—one cozy lounge with a TV and plush couches, and another dedicated library with vintage armchairs, walls lined with bookshelves, and an old radiogram spinning my ever-growing vinyl collection.

The main bedroom? A bay window, mood lighting, exposed beams, and stone walls to keep the warmth in. A spacious wet room for that luxury feel. The other bedrooms? Just as cozy, sharing a bathroom with a clawfoot tub, a large shower, and a double basin setup.

The laundry? Tucked next to a mudroom, because practicality matters. Rustic but neat, with plenty of storage for coats and muddy boots.

Step outside, and the backyard would be a lush green space with established fruit trees and a big, fenced-off veggie garden. The rest of the land would be divided into paddocks for the animals. And the view? Mountains or a dense forest—something peaceful, with no other soul in sight.

Yep… that’s the dream!